I was trying to tweet this experience last night, and there were many, many interruptions from several insolent tweeps parading as grownups (you know who you are). When I was finally allowed to finish the story it occurred to me that dang, I shoulda blogged the sucker instead. Put it down to a lamentable lack of blogger experience on my part. Luckily for you someone out there convinced me I could still blog about it.
It went something like this - I'll try to map out the rude interruptions without naming names:
Today I walked out of the nice, clean, perfect Apple Store and saw a dead rat in the road. Squished. Bleah. #incongruous
*INTERRUPTION*
Back to the dead rat story; so it's laying on the road right next to our car. In fact I have to actually step over it to get in. #Bleah
*INTERRUPTION*
So anyway I'm like, ew, yuck, don't look at the dead rat JC, in my head. But of course I don't look away in time. #imprint #brainburn
*INTERRUPTIONS*
So AS I WAS SAYING just enough of the dead rat laying on the asphalt at my feet burned into my retina to scar me.
*Multiple INTERRUPTIONS*
OK. So back to the DEAD RAT story. I was completely traumatized as the sight of it seared an image into my brain. I had to do something desperate.
*INTERRUPTIONS*INTERRUPTION* INTERRUPTIONS*
I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE BUT WOULD YOU ALL MIND IF I FINISHED MY STORY ABOUT THE DEAD RAT?
*APOLOGIES*
Ahem. So there I am, my mind reeling from the sight of this poor, squished, dead rat, lying on the pavement, drying out a little in the sun.
*SILENCE*
With its bald tail at an awkward angle.
*SILENCE*
And its little ears, all flat...
*DISTANT COUGHING*
So I got into the car and thought, "holy guacamole. WHAT can I do to cleanse myself of the TRAUMA of seeing this dead squished rat?"
*Then someone cracked a JOKE. Three people actually.*
HAHAHA! DAMMIT LET ME FINISH. Please.
*Another JOKE*
Can I finish?
*APOLOGIES*
So I'm like ew, gross, bleah, dead-squished-rat, and I suddenly realized the only thing I could do was... (wait for it)
*At this point one particular tweep was most insistent that 'nachos' was the answer.*
No nachos. Sit down and zip it.
*SILENCE*
...(wait for it)...
*SILENCE*
...was to go straight home, get online and buy a Macbook Pro. #deadrat #theend
* * *
Now I'm a PC/Windows gal all the way. So what do you think that has to say about Apple's marketing?
PS. This story continues HERE.
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ReplyDeletewhen you pulled out did you run over the rat again? Maybe you killed it pulling into that spot. You did didn't you? RAT KILLER!!!!
ReplyDeleteNice post woman!!
I think someone from the Apple store found the dead rat in the back room & put it next to your car just to traumatize you into needing a Mac. Very effective marketing indeed.
ReplyDeleteApple will murder vermin for your dollar. The nacho industry? Not nearly so brutal and cynical.
ReplyDelete*giggle* Thanks. You brought a smile to my face, and I'd been feeling mildly snarly before I got on the computer. Well done! ;p
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are blogging, great post!
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha you are really unpredictable! Welcome to crossover world.
ReplyDeleteI think you can probably scratch apple sponsoring you until the rat smell dissipates a bit.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! ThePeachy1 you gotta a good point there. And if WhyisDaddyCrying is to be believed, the rodent may have stuck to the car tire and might STILL BE THERE. In which case, I'd have to go buy an iPad, iPod and an iPhone.
ReplyDeleteWatch out. The next thing Apple will make is the iCar. I just need to know how big this rat was...little rat or big like cat-rat? p.s. I'm glad you aren't a photography blogger.
ReplyDelete