ANATOMY - The 14 Year Old Girl.

I'm now the proud mother of a fourteen year old girl. Except she's waaaaaay older than that. Indeed, my second child is one of those "old souls". She was born wise.

But she's still only 14 and I'm her mother *ahem*. I'm happy to tell you she agrees that this is what the inside of her head looks like right at this moment. Ha.

For the record, she's only just been allowed on FaceBook. We're all expecting ... hoping ... ...PRAYING the pie slice will shrink to a 'healthy' level soon, allowing more focus on studies, chores, family time and the word "whatever".

So what does the inside of your teenager's head look like?

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SPIDEY Sketches.

Me and the ten year old boy were drawing Spiderman. Well, he was drawing Spiderman, and I was drawing him drawing Spiderman.

And that's what we do on a Friday night. Now I'm gonna put this boy to bed, he's kinda sleepy.

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GROUPIE.

WARNING: I don't quite know why, but I think I should warn you. So now you've been warned.

I was a one-man woman...until I saw this.

Don't say I didn't warn you. And someday, when we know each other a little better, maybe I'll tell you more about my zebra striped thigh highs....

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YOU. @aregas

Introducing @argas who marched right up to me on Twitter one day and commanded me to go and look at her brand new blog Fond of the Sillinness. I drew her today cuz I was inspired by a FARKING hilarious story she wrote about how she once signed her last name completely....well, go read it for yourself!

This gal's got the funnee.

I draw YOU. Read the rules. 

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Being PEACHY - I Guest Blog.

Being Peachy blogger is AWOL. Who knows where she is or when she'll be back? In the meantime though, someone's got to mind the fruit stand. So I convinced my pal Why Is Daddy Crying to get dressed up as peaches and we guest posted for her.

I know, I know, Peach and the dude have argued like babies in the past... but the truth is we're all girls here. And girls stick up for each other!

Go now and see how good me and the dude are at Being Peachy. And be sure to crawl all over @IamthePeachy1's blog while you're there. She's "the funniest lady on the Internet"!

UPDATE: Seems some folks wanna join in on Being Peachy. So if you've used your imagination and left a comment on her blog you may now claim your prize.

Grab this transparent image and stick it on your own photo...and VOILA! Now you can Be Peachy too.

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YOU. @mommyamc

She's a mom and a dreamer. She loves her family and her friends. She's Angela, AKA @mommyamc  - and she's a ray of sunshine in my day.

Angela originally appeared in The Stealth LumberJACK with the inimitable @earlJW and @whyisdaddycryin.

(Hi Aaron! *waving*)

I draw YOU. Read the rules.

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YOU. @ragekat

Some of you know her as @ragekat. Some of you know her as I'm Too Pretty For This blogger. But I know her as ...RageKAT!

She's a Super HERO Chick. Part humanoid, part Kat. Her superpower is that she's purrfect in every way, and .... um... (I'm just making this up as I go by the way, feel free to jump in) - RageKat's only weakness? Man.

She's HAWT.

@theblondeview suggested this awesome visual.


RageKAT gear is now available in my Zazzle Shop.

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The Heart of ME.

All I had to do was answer one simple question:

"What do I love about me?"

...and it turned into a TERRIFYING existential excavation. I burst into tears decided to be brave. Rolling up my sleeves, I grabbed a shovel and fearlessly began to dig.



Don't get me wrong, I do love my "self".  But there's no one single quality that doesn't have a "best before" date stamped on it. Also I despise the admirable qualities I possess (honesty, bravery, gung-ho) because they always land me in a heap of trouble. So in an honest effort to bravely find the gung-ho answer to the question, I peered deep into The Heart of ME....

You gotta admit, that's not an easy thing to do, right? Cuz there's nothing there! Not even a heart of gold! And that, my friend is really farking scary. And potentially dangerous.

But I did it. And I still love my "self".

My clever 13 year old daughter suggested the combustible ending. Prolly cuz I ate all that spicy food when I was pregnant with her. FYI this film took three days to make.

Thanks to my pal @ClutteredBrain I'm humbly submitting this to the Mommyologist's Valentine love yourself bash thingie.

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A Valentine For YOU.

So the free Lil' Valentines seemed to go over pretty well. But today I have something new to offer, and it comes straight from the heart. Like all my work. Right here, people, right here (points to sternum).

I stayed up late and made this for YOU, because... well, because I love you.
Happy Valentines Day.



Also? FARK is it cold. What are you doing to keep warm today?

The Huz helped me with the script for this one.

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Lil' Valentines For KIDS.

If you're as disorganized as me, you maybe didn't get it together to go and buy those Valentines Day cards for your kids. Maybe Mom thought Dad was gonna do it, or vice versa.

These are for you! They are *free*. You can have 'em in colour or black & white (a cool option for those who are limited to black & white printing OR the kids wanna colour it themselves. I'm thoughtful, right?)

Um, I tried to allow for every situation...I guess you could also use these as grownup cards.

Getting kids to make their own Valentines Day cards is fun too.

And here's a game for kids called Rosie's Heart from my site for littlies; just click the pic.

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ZOMBIE Fridge.

A few weeks ago I got food poisoning and I totally blamed it on that unpasteurized blue-veined Stilton. The cheese however, blamed the Fridge.

Remember the ZOMBIE Dishwasher? Turns out it bit and infected the Fridge.

So out with the old and in with the new! Just in time for my birthday last weekend.
Meet the New Fridge. All who approach must genuflect before it.

If you wish to touch it, you must first don Mickey's white gloves.

Fridge Glomping is permitted. No overt humping though.

How much did it cost? Well...let's just say I may change my name to "Eileen"

Cool runnings.

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EyeBROWS.

Today we're going to look at eyebrows. Why do we need eyebrows? Because without them, we are expressionless.

Granted, sometimes we are naturally expressionless, like when your 10 year old boy comes home from school and decides to vaccuum his room...

Exactly. Or if we want to look like David Bowie.

But you can't be expressionless in every single situation! Even at rest, eyebrows give you a little something. A nuance, if you will.

If your husband decides to give you flowers out of the blue, you might lift your eyebrows in mild surprize.

Sometimes you may need to show concern, or sympathy. Like if your BFFF breaks her rubber ducky. Awww....

Obviously, eyebrows are essential to show that you're angry about something. Otherwise how would your 16 year old daughter understand your reaction to her not calling from the 'party' at midnight when she was supposed to?

And these kind of eyebrows would efficiently communicate to the hospital ER staff that you're extremely worried about this odd freckle you've just discovered in your bellybutton.
Hypochondriacs rely on eyebrows just like this!

If you're at all uncertain or doubtful about the usefulness of eyebrows, an expression such as this would probably be on your face. But only, I repeat: ONLY if you have eyebrows.

Without eyebrows? Nothing.

Some eyebrows are better than none. This Marlene Dietrich pluck is a fashion statement, but at least there's a little expression there, even if it is somewhat superior and aloof - it still counts!

And Frida Kahlo....

Well, she just WINS at eyebrows.

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YOU. @MeriLizzie

This is @MeriLizzie, whom I adore. I'm drawing her for no other reason than: I feel like it.

Virtually every morning (on Twitter) I see that she is running for the dang bus.

Since she's a fashionable "it Girl" blogger, of course she's wearing highheels and a hounds-tooth coat (double-breasted). The perfect outfit for bus-chasing!

I draw YOU. Read the rules. 

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My BIRTHDAY.

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#MBteamGL MOMS.

See this? --> #MBteamGL
Please include it in every single one of your tweets from NOW until Friday at midnight..

For example: 
"My baby said his first word! #MBteamGL"
"I had eggs for breakfast! #MBteamGL"
"Everyone should follow @littleanimation! #MBteamGL"
(I admit that last one was slutty, but you get the point, right?)

"But why JC? Why should we include "#MBteamGL" in all our tweets?"

It's a race. Blogger-mom @Nuckingfutsmama and her trusty co-pilot @Hoo_dee_Hoo (also a blogger-mom) will be driving from Chicago to Minneapolis to Manhatten to Dallas for the Super Bowl in a pimped-out Mercedes SUV. Their car will be "fuelled" by tweets with that hashtag. They can't drive unless they have enough tweets with #MBteamGL, so....you get the picture, right?

The gals have fabulous @SerenaWilliams as their celebrity coach! She'll be tweeting along with us. If enough of us tweet #MBteamGL, Mercedes Benz will give Serena Williams Foundation $20,000 - which goes straight to helping underprivileged U.S youth get to High School and beyond.

Do it for EDUCATION, people!

"Hey JC! What will you give us if we do this?"

Okay, okay, I don't expect something for nothing. I'll be keeping you entertained with up to date drawings of @Nuckingfutsmama and @Hoo_dee_Hoo during their road trip. There will be stowaways, hitchhikers and backseat-drivers along the way. Some may appear oddly familiar, heheh.....

"Really? That's fun! Who are you gonna draw, JC?"

Wouldn't you like to know...! Featured right here on this post, three times a day, from NOW until Friday at midnight.

UPDATE! SURPRIZE # 2 UH-OH.
And they're off!

Not really. They're actually snowed in. But they still have to get tweet fuel, so let's pretend they're in their car driving. @Nuckingfutsmama takes the wheel while @Hoo_dee_Hoo gets busy tweeting everyone about #MBteamGL. Go MOMS GO!

Uh-oh. Not good.

UPDATE! SURPRIZE # 3 STOWAWAY.
Suddenly, @Nuckingfutsmama discovers a stowaway passenger!

Well, lookie here, it's blogger Daddy's Toolbox AKA @DaddysToolbox from Twitter! And see? He even brought his toolbox. Good thing too, cuz we needs someone to help fix @Hoo_dee_Hoo.

UPDATE! SURPRIZE # 4 REFRESHMENTS?
Hmmm...she's not waking up. But the LADY of the House blogger is here now. Or should I say BABY of the House. Also known as @ieatmykidzsnack, it looks like she has some, er... uh, refreshments left over from the last time she appeared on my blog.

Oh dear, what's the drinking age on this blog anyway? Just look at the mess she's making. I'm a little worried she'll throw a tantrum if we try to take that sake away from her! Well, let's just hope no stalkers randomly fall through the ceiling of the car.

UPDATE! SURPRIZE # 5 OPERA
Our blogger moms are actually on the road today! We genuflect before the Gods of Precipitation and Snow-removal in Gratitude!

The Benz has just been hijacked by the funniest woman on the Internet. It's Being Peachy blogger @IamthePeachy1. Remember when she picked a fight with @WhyisDaddyCryin over a t-shirt? That was INSPIRED. And now she's tryna cheer the driver on by singing ...opera? Mel Blanc would be proud.

I don't know how the co-pilot can sleep through this. Perhaps it's just a bad dream...
See? I knew I shouldn't have watched "Inception" the other night. Next thing you know, Lil' Peach will be trying to wrap the lush interior of this car in duct tape and 'kick' us all to the next level!

UPDATE! SURPRIZE # 6 CLICK!
You know when you fall asleep on the sofa, or the bus, or the plane? Or in a fancy Mercedes Benz during a big tweetrace roadtrip? And your mouth is hanging open, and you are maybe drooling a little bit? You never think in a million years that someone with a huge twitter / blog following will show up with their camera and take a picture of you.

Oh look! Blogger extraordinaire @ScaryMommy just showed up with her camera. What a coincidence.

UPDATE! SURPRIZE # 7 STALKER.

Driving along, the unsuspecting @Nuckingfutsmama suddenly hears some random thumping coming from the trunk...! Could it be another stowaway? Yes indeed! It's none other than talented Daddy blogger and incorrigible flirt @Whyisdaddycryin.

This Lil' dude simply cannot help himself - he just has to sneak into every single one of my epic BLOG posts. He's either stealing the spotlight or falling through the ceiling. I have this theory that he likes to stalk talk to the ladeez. people. And here he is once again, doing what he does best!

Also? I have it on good authority that this time he's crying cuz he forgot his lil' pink Snuggie at home.

UPDATE! SURPRIZE # 8 HITCHHIKER.
After draining the fluids from the vehicle, our lovely driver decided she needed some "me" time. You know, facial, manicure, pedicure? So she picked up Mom Generations fashion blogger @AudreyMcClellan who just happened to be thumbing it to the down to the SuperBowl. Talk about serendipity!

When asked what colour toenails were begging for this spring, Lil' Audrey replied "Fashionista RED!" And from the looks of things Day-Glo GREEN is also gonna be everywhere.

Yes that's @Nuckingfutsmama leg that's twisted backwards. And yes, @Hoo_dee_Hoo is still snoring away. Think of it as a "Spa on Wheels".

UPDATE! SURPRIZE # 9 #SERENAWILLIAMS
WOW, it's @SerenaWilliams! Looks like the moms' Celebrity Coach finally decided to drop in and check things out for herself. She must enjoy getting down in the trenches with the rest of us. Gosh. She has like, almost 2 million followers, and she's here, on my blog.
One tweet from her and...uh...oh well, I guess you only need one.

Remember folks - we're here to literally DRIVE tweets = $ to Serena's Foundation. Now a few people on twitter mentioned that MB's donation of $20,000 is only enough to send one kid to highschool in the US. And that may be true. But...even ONE kid's education is worth it for me. So let's all tweet #MBteamGL until tonight and think about that one kid.
DO NOT THINK ABOUT THELMA AND LOUISE, PEOPLE.

Lil' Serena is quite the backseat driver. But can her all that racket wake up @Hoo_dee_Hoo?

UPDATE! SURPRIZE # 10 THE LAST ONE.
Awwww.....GoatDog* missed his Mummy!

I will never buy a Mercedes Benz. And that, my friends, is the jugular of irony.

*Getting Goat Dog in the back seat was On The Eve Of Insanity blogger @EverRose's idea.

You guys have been awesome.  Don't hold back with the comments!

What are you waiting for? Click the "tweet" button below and spread the word! Include the mother-lovin' hashtag #MBteamGL in all your tweets!! Follow @Nuckingfutsmama and @Hoo_dee_Hoo and help them with their MB Challenges until ...er...sometime tonight! Go, people, GO!!! Do it for the kids!

Who's in?

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