BOY vs CRUST.

WARNING: You might want to watch this Bear Grylls video before reading this. Or not. My 11 year old son made me watch it and now my face has this weird tic.


My name is BOY Grylls. In the home, there is food about...if you know where to look.

See right there? That's a plate; and you've just gotta come up to it and put your ear next to it. And listen....for CRUSTS!

Found one! This here is a Rhino Whole Wheat crust...

...and it has been laying here a very, very long time. At least since breakfast.

You can just eat crusts; even raw.

Pound for pound, crusts like these contain more actual bread than beef or fish.

Crusts. They're the perfect survival food.


My boy is really into Bear Grylls. Hands up if you're a fan...!

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The CHOCOLATE Keyboard.

I love chocolate. The other day I got chocolate on my keyboard. "Crapola!" I thought, "now it's gonna be all dirty and sticky." And then I thought, "Hey, I wonder if there are any brown coloured keyboards...?" It would be great to have one so the chocolate wouldn't show up, right?

And then my imagination bulldozed me.
Introducing The CHOCOLATE Keyboard!!
This one is milk chocolate (for kids).

It could also come in dark chocolate (very sexy).

And with almond chunks (for nutty keyboardage, my personal fave).

With one of these, I could type away and not worry about the chocolate mess. And if I get hungry I could just eat the "F1" key. Who ever uses that anyway?

True, my keyboard would be stickier than ever. But for someone who draws stick figures? Not a problem.

Where can I get one of these?!?

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Parenting is HARD.

You will make mistakes. No one is perfect.

It hurts.

But you're allowed to forgive yourself.

Yesterday was hard for me. Today will be better.

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MotherHOOD.

* * * * *

DISC SCRATCH!

There is more to this story but I've removed it from the blog for now.

MotherHOOD has been expanded and published as a book, and you can purchase it on CreateSpace or Amazon. Thanks for reading and stay tooned.



This post was selected for the 2012 BlogHer "Voices of the Year" in the visual category. 

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YOU. @AnissaMayhew.

I started following @AnissaMayhew on twitter nearly two years ago because she was smart 'n funny. Then she had the stroke(s) and coma. With thousands of others I watched all this unfold online...I read her husband's updates, I got the TEAM ANISSA t-shirt to help support the family and the rehab, and I cheered out loud to see her back online. Of course she's had no idea who I am, but to me... she's like a hero. Because her last tweet before the stroke was about feeding the world's hungry with soup. Hands up if you remember this?

So imagine my excitement when she asked me to guest post on Aiming Low. I just about filled my shorts up. My post is called The YES-aholic. Go see it now!!!!

Here's seven things I think are cool about Anissa:

1. She's friends with @IamthePeachy1 in real life. That alone tips the scales into the land of cool.
2. She's unfettered by the trappings of expectation.
3. She's now an accomplished lefty. 
4. Adversity has not defined her; it has made her more her.  
5. She was awesome on Oprah. 
6. She's smart 'n funny. Already said this.
7. She cares.

Anissa is the founder and lead editor at Aiming Low,  and also blogs at Free Anissa.
"Now stronger and more determined" is a quote from Anissa's guest blog at Women on the Fence.

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Bacon POWER!

It's the weekend! Trouble waking up those sleepy teenagers before morning turns into afternoon? BACON POWER will give them the olfactory nudge they need!

Works every time. Can't guarantee they'll stay awake, but prop them up with a vacuum cleaner or a rake and they should be fine.

Use Bacon POWER sparingly; too much bacon is exceedingly unhealthy.
This drawing was inpsired by @80sgirlforever and @TrenDspa who were actually having trouble waking themselves up.

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The RAPTURE List.

WARNING: Not sure why, but I think you should be warned.

I dunno if it will happen or not, but just in case it does, here's a short list of useful things to remember about after the Rapture.

Feel free to add some...cuz you never know.

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YOU. @WheelchairMommy.

Hey Everyone - meet Priscilla!

Also known as @WheelChairMommy, Priscilla blogs at The Wheelchair Mommy about life as a SAHM to two gorgeous boys and a third on the way.

Don't let the wheels fool ya; she's just like everyone else, and does practically everything that people without wheelchairs do. I actually asked her if there was anything she couldn't do because of her wheelchair and all she said was, "I can't mow the lawn". Hmmm...that's what I say too.....

Well Priscilla, this is your LUCKY DAY!!!!

Cuz with my husband's handy new invention, you too can now mow the lawn!
Introducing ....The ALL NEW Super Cordless GP Auto-Mower™

It doesn't look like much but just pop a guinea pig inside it and watch it go!

Here's a handy feature: by simply lifting and moving the lightweight Super Cordless GP Auto-Mower™ by its specially designed ergonomic handle, you can create this lovely lawn pattern!

PLUS - you get free fertilizer! So...whaddya say Priscilla?

Two thumbs way up!! And now folks, while quantities last, you too can create lawn envy in your neighbours with one ot these fantastic gizmos.** Just sign up for the ALL NEW Super Cordless GP Auto-Mower™ below!

*Limited time offer.
**Not really.  
Batteries not included.

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#MoyleVegasWedding

Sonya and Dan are getting hitched!!! I've followed both @SL22268 and @DanMoyle for some time but I didn't even know they knew each other, much less being engaged to be married.

So Sonya asked me to draw a lil' something as a gift for Dan....and then Dan turned around and also asked me to draw something for their wedding. Are these two meant for each other or what?!?

At 5 PM PST they'll say "We Do" in Vegas, and around 8 PM they'll prolly see this post.

I did the drawings, but all of Twitter loves a love story - especially one that has a hashtag in it!

CONGRATULATIONS AND BEST WISHES FROM YOUR FOLLOWERS AND MORE!

Dont' be shy about 'signing' this card. And, if you click this "tweet" button, it'll end up on Twitter with the hashtag #MoyleVegasWedding, which the bride and groom are using to tweet and track their impending nuptials. It's a way of giving them a little wedding present.

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Funny One LINERS.

Folks often ask me how I draw like I do. Well, it's easy and you can do it too. I put together this FREE drawing lesson just for you.

It all starts with a simple line. There's a lot of attitude in a simple line, okay? So just grab a crayon and draw some - bendy, straight or wiggly.

Then add some dots...

...and a few strokes to give it some body. Haha. See what I did there? BODY.

Words always add a little "je ne sais quoi".

A bit of colour to make it pop, and you're done.

See? It's easy! But BEWARE: too many clichés and you will end up with a flat line.

You're very welcome!

MORE Funny One Liners? Yes please. 

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About KLOUT.

So I'm on Twitter and I often see tweets with the word "KLOUT" in them. It's always "KLOUT this", and "KLOUT that", and "I'm so worried such-and-such will affect my KLOUT score" and stuff. And I'm like, what is this KLOUT thing everyone is talking about?!?

Now when I want answers* to my questions, I ask my Twitter following. And if it's social media related, I hashtag #UsGuys. All you need to know about #UsGuys right now is that they are remarkable and they like male strippers and, uh... cake.
*not necessarily the right answers, but that's what makes it fun.

So my tweet went something like this:

A very helpful #UsGuys tweep named @barrypeters suggested I go look at @SeanMcGinnis' vlog post about The Problem With Klout. So off I go, tarum tarum tarum. I watch the video, I read the post and I learn that people who check their KLOUT 'score' always change the way they behave online afterwards. They go from being genuine, to being oh-so-influential. Which then supposedly somehow renders the KLOUT score meaningless.

Do I now know what the heck KLOUT is?

No! I do not!

Being essentially curious, I just go to the dang KLOUT site and sign in... You're curious too, huh? You want to click on it to find out how you score don't you? Haha.

I see this:

I'm like, what? My "score" is 66 and they say that's "high"? Hmmmm. 66 is not high people, 100 is high. Am I wrong? Okay 66 out of what? It doesn't say and I'm too impatient to dig.

Then I read this:

What? I'm a thought leader? Cool!

But then, my eyes fall on this:

So apparently I'm really influential on the subjects of Cinderella, Hello Kitty and Renee Zellweger. Three things about which I'm fairly certain I've never discussed anything online or IRL ever. Well ok maybe I did say something about Hello Kitty one time on Facebook. But still.

What does it mean???

I dunno. All I care about is that it made me laugh out loud to draw this:

Oh yeah, I did notice that these two buttons are all over the KLOUT website.

Gee. Any idea what that's all about...?

UPDATE! June 6, 2011:
Since posting this, my Klout score went up to 69. Which is a very auspicious number, I'm sure you'll agree. Was I doing anything different in my online behaviour?

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