October 27, 2011

The KLOUT Fall.

The big news today is that Klout changed its algorithm* to be more accurate. Yay for accuracy! I, along with many others, found our Klout scores hurtling towards certain ignominy, without a parachute. Turns out we weren't as influential as we thought we were.


Does this matter? I don't know! I have yet to figure Klout out. Here are 5 things a high Klout score probably cannot do for you:
  1. Rub ointment on your chilblains.
  2. Comfort you when you cry at movies.
  3. Get you a roll of toilet paper when you really, really need it.
  4. Draw a funny picture of you.
  5. Tell you when Mr. Crusty is hanging out of your nose.
  6. Feed you bacon. Wait, that's six. Okay six things then.
But perhaps Klout can actually feed you. So I want to know - have you or anyone you know ever put food on the table, i.e. landed a job or a sponsor, based on what their Klout score is? If so, I'll give you some +K and a big high five.

Drawing stuff about Klout is fun. I like it because Klout taps into a basic human condition: the need to be validated. If you're upset about your plummeting score, it might be useful to remember that Klout is not a social service, it's a business. You are valuable and awesome with -K and a big high five!

*An algorithm is a really amazing and fabulous thing that can predict stuff, like what size underwear your future mother-in-law will wear. Probably. 
Posted by The Animated Woman at 12:28 AM
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26 comments:

  1. TechyDadOctober 27, 2011 at 12:39 AM

    Well, we did get a Subway Klout perk. So Klout did put food on the table in a manner of speaking. And we recently got a wine perk, so Klout will now put wine in our glasses. Yay, Klout!

    (If I say Klout enough, does my Klout score rise? Klout, Klout, Klout.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Barbara LOctober 27, 2011 at 12:43 AM

    You have done it again. Made me laugh.

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  3. sheWhoMustBeHrdOctober 27, 2011 at 12:48 AM

    I love your hair in this pic. I want mine to look like that -- I guess I need to jump out of a plane.

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  4. AlaphGypsyOctober 27, 2011 at 12:57 AM

    What? My Klout score dropped? Or?

    Huh? Klout gives you stuff?

    Have you gotten Klout in #stuff yet? That's all I wanna know...

    I personally think Klout hates me because I've not been able to access it for a while now, something about my browser finding errors in trying to open the Klout page, so my browser doesn't think Klout is important, so eh, whatever...

    Oh...I do know my mom has a picture of me, when I was about 2 years old, sitting on a potty chair, asleep, wearing a shirt that says "I have clout!" Does that count for anything?

    MAN! Now I wish my mom didn't live 10 hours away, I sooo wanna go through her box of pictures and find it so I can show Klout what I think about it....#boringpoop

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  5. amazingSusanOctober 27, 2011 at 1:00 AM

    Good for you dahhhling. Absolutely ridiculous. And their responses to user comments are even more so... complete and utter #EPIC #FAIL

    ReplyDelete
  6. NilaOctober 27, 2011 at 1:04 AM

    Haha! I gained +9 with the new algorithm. I'm not really upset about that. I do think you are correct about needing to be validated. Although I have a midline Klout score I don't think it really reflects my reach ect, in fact it may overestimate? Oh well, who cares! It's fun to look at but it really does nothing for anyone :(

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  7. Cat and DOG Chat With CarenOctober 27, 2011 at 7:04 AM

    THANK YOU! THANK YOU ! for this! Klout drives me insane. I don't "get it"....thanks for having the guts to say that in the grand scheme of things it really isn't that important!

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  8. @EllieM72October 27, 2011 at 7:59 AM

    What the heck is a chilblain and can I have that rubbed on please? ;)

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  9. Clayburn GriffinOctober 27, 2011 at 9:26 AM

    Eh, it happens.

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  10. anonymousarbiterOctober 27, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    Your picture neatly sums up the subtle 'Balloon Game' mentality of K - #noonewantstobealoser

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  11. MichaelBathurstOctober 27, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    I found most people went down about 15 to 20 points yesterday. This is a fun post to read.

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  12. MichaelBathurstOctober 27, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    I found most scores went down about 15 to 20 points. I love Klout and will continue my quest to find spiritual beings along the Twitter stream.This was fun to read!

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  13. Jonah GibsonOctober 27, 2011 at 2:01 PM

    Most of my parts went down a little, but my composite total stayed the same. Of course it didn't have a lot of room to go down.

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  14. The Animated WomanOctober 27, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    TechyDad - So...you get Klout perks based on your score?

    ReplyDelete
  15. The Animated WomanOctober 27, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    Shewhomustbehrd - No. You don't need to jump out of a plane. You can also get this kind of hair by listening to one of Sarah Palin's speeches.

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  16. The Animated WomanOctober 27, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    Stephi - I want to see that pic!!!

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  17. MamaBennieOctober 27, 2011 at 4:36 PM

    I got a complete Sharpie kit (pretty much every product they make) and Axe hair glue for my Klout...no food though.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Nathan R.October 27, 2011 at 4:36 PM

    I got my wife a year's worth of Secret deodorant (4), TV show swag for my son, hair gel, and Moo business cards. You get stuff for points and topics. Lately it's been for both.

    It's fun, but I don't obsess too much, except now my wife @terrarosaIthaca has a higher score, which is totally unfair since she's hardly on social media.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dana KOctober 27, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    When I was awarded a KloutPerk for Axe YES AXE BODY SPRAY CRAP I stopped taking Klout seriously. Then, Klout determined I was influential in homelessness & poverty...& bacon.

    ReplyDelete
  20. The Animated WomanOctober 27, 2011 at 4:54 PM

    MamaBennie - you got Sharpies too? JEALOUS.
    Nathan - So much for accuracy.

    TechyDad, MamaBennie & Nathan - So you get free stuff for having lots of Klout points? You guys must have really high scores. Which makes me a little bit afraid of you now.

    ReplyDelete
  21. The Random BlogetteOctober 27, 2011 at 4:57 PM

    Umm, I got a small tube of Axe Hair gel that I gave to my son. I got some swag from Chiquita (2 bags, an umbrella, a t-shirt and a banana hanger). A $25 Macy's git card. Some primer. Nope, it did not put food on my table and hasn't done anything for my blog. I just got some swag. Eh, for what it's worth my kids were more excited about the damn banana hanger than anything else.

    ReplyDelete
  22. The Animated WomanOctober 27, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    Dana - You think maybe Klout is handing out lots of free stuff that nobody really wants? Do companies have to pay to get their stuff into the Klout perks?

    ReplyDelete
  23. The Animated WomanOctober 27, 2011 at 5:04 PM

    Random Blogette - A gift card is great! Wait...can you buy anything for $25 from Macy's? Kidding! Your Klout score must be really high to get all that stuff. Hey hold on a minute. Are you tryna influence me???

    ReplyDelete
  24. flyddwOctober 27, 2011 at 5:34 PM

    JC, My klout score has been all over the map. However, I've received: $10 Subway card(food), $15 iTunes card, $50 Sporting Good card, and a Flip HD camera (nice, but cellphone do this now). I turned down the Axe and Moo cards and some Concert Ticket discounter (???).

    I, too, am not to sure about this company. But - free stuff is free stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  25. mamaBennieOctober 27, 2011 at 5:34 PM

    Haha actually I don't have a high Klout score at all...It was like 63 when I got the Sharpies...it went down to like 53 with the "changes"

    ReplyDelete
  26. Nathan R.October 27, 2011 at 11:37 PM

    My score dropped about 10 points, but so did the amount of points you need for perks, so no biggie.

    I think the companies pay to get a perk posted, but it's just for advertising. You probably qualify for several, but I've noticed they fill up quickly.

    ReplyDelete

Cuz You Rocketh.

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