The PODIUM.

Tomorrow I will amuse the world by stepping outside my comfort zone and into oncoming traffic. I will enter the Land Of Public Speaker-ing - 400 college students at a Humanities Symposium. Start me off on something easy, why don't you?

I've depicted myself as a toddler so I can be easily forgiven.

The Huz is bringing wet wipes and a fire extinguisher just in case the unthinkable happens. Wish me luck.

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Meet STFU.

Another valuable acronym.  The kind you really want after watching WTF duke it out with OMG.

STFU stands for "shut the FUQ up." And if you want to know what FUQ stands for, go see this.

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Pickle Weasel January.

That loveable rascal Pickle Weasel is hi-jacking my blog posts again. This is from The Last Snowman.

You can wait to see them month by month or support your local bloggy-animator (me) and buy the calendar.

YEAH!

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I Draw YOU - @xtremeparnthood

Sunday Stilwell @xtremeparnthood hired me to redesign her Banshee and I loved every minute of it.

She's relaunched her blog Adventures in Extreme Parenthood and it looks gorgeous. Sunday's the frazzled mom of two autistic boys. In her own words the drawing "fully embodies how I feel most days chasing my boys around".

Gracious, smart and with a sense of humor. This woman is a pleasure to work with! It was easy to say YES to this job.

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FUQMAN!

WARNING: Parental discretion.  

True story: our old zombie car wouldn't start....until it was actually being towed away. The lights came on and the engine roared, I kid you not. My husband raged, "The Lords Of Irony are at it again! Wreaking havoc in our lives!" And the idea for this superhero hit him in the face and knocked him flat. While he was recovering, I made this little film.



Irresistible grooves by The Huz himself. Cuz he's a mewzishun, yo.

Wanna see the dance remix? I'm thinking ...FUQYEAH! OK here it is, FUQMAN the music video.

Get fuqqed with FUQMAN t-shirts!

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I love you MORE than chocolate.

The 11 year old boy sits up in his bed, his eyes wide. His 14 year old sister comes into the room saying, "Did I hear you right? You love him more than coffee, more than tea, more than wine, and even more than bacon?!? And what about me?" I smile, but I'm thinking hard.

The boy looks earnest. "Yeah mom... how much do you love me, I mean 'us'...?"

And I say:

And here's the mug to prove it.

Get it NOW, for the one you love, cuz Valentine's Day is coming!

Love someone more than bacon? I gots more love mugs in my Zazzle Shop. Oh and there's 15% off sale. Yay!

Do you play "how much do you love me?" games with your kids? This story is part of a short series that starts here. Stay tooned to find out what happens next...

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I love you MORE than bacon.

The boy giggles and squirms under his quilt. "Really mom? You love me more than coffee, more than tea and even more than wine?" I smile and nod, saying, "I truly do." And he says "But how much is that? How much do you love me...?"

And I say:

And here's the mug to prove it.

Get it NOW, for the one you love, cuz Valentine's Day is coming!

Love someone more than bacon? I gots more love mugs in my Zazzle Shop. Oh and there's 15% off sale. Yay!

Do you play "how much do you love me?" games with your kids? This story is part of a short series that starts here. Stay tooned to find out what happens next...
 

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I love you MORE than wine.

So my son puts his head back on his pillow and looks at me. He's getting a little sleepy now but he presses on "Okay mom, so you love me more than coffee, and you love me more than tea...but how much do you love me...?"

And I say:

And here's the mug to prove it.

Get it NOW, for the one you love, cuz Valentine's Day is coming!

Love someone more than chocolate? I gots more love mugs in my Zazzle Shop. Oh and there's 15% off sale. Yay!

I love these bedtime games with my kids. This story is part of a short series that starts here. Stay tooned to find out what happens next...

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I love you MORE than tea.

Tucked into his quilts, my son pulls me closer and whispers, "Mom, so you love me more than coffee...but how much do you love me...?"

And I say:

And here's the mug to prove it.

Get it NOW, for the one you love, cuz Valentine's Day is coming!

Love someone more than bacon? I gots more love mugs in my Zazzle Shop.

This story is part of a short series that starts here. Stay tooned to find out what happens next...

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I love you MORE than coffee.

At night, when I tuck the 11 year old boy into his bed, he pulls me close and whispers, "Mom, how much do you love me...?"

And I say:

And here's the mug to prove it.

Get it NOW, for the one you love!

Love someone more than beer? I gots more love mugs in my Zazzle Shop.

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BLACKout.

Don't be silenced, don't fall asleep.

I live in Canada, but if SOPA or PIPA goes down in the US, it'll impact my blog immediately. And then it's only a matter of time before Canada follows suit.

Use your voice. Take action here >>> End Piracy, Not Liberty.

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Check out my new THREADS!

It has been a monumental drag to not be able to reply directly to your comments on my drawings. Only last night I was hovering between installing either Disqus or Intense Debate, to enable threaded comments. Actually the only reason I didn't install one or the other was that I started having a real life intense debate with my brother on Facebook, and after that, I fell asleep.

But tonight...lo and behold! Blogger has added its own threaded comments. I can't draw a YAY big enough to show how pleased I am about this. Be satisfied with a dorky smile.

Go on, leave me a comment. And then I'll reply directly to you.

I can't wait.

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Mission IMPOSSIBLE.

Your mission, should you accept it, is to fit no less than FIVE (5) helpings of pasta into your tummy.

Dun, dun, dun-dun, dun, dun...

Dun-dun, dun, dun, dun-dun, dun, dun...

Tudleeooo.... tudleeooo.... tudleeooo.... tun-nun!

Dun! Dun! Dun-dun! Dun! Dun! Dun-dun!

Yeah, the 11 year old boy is growing again.
But where's he gonna fit that ice-cream?

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NINJA Foot Massage.

This is my older brother. For his birthday last year, we gave him a foot massage treat in Chinatown. Awesome. It took him a year to cash it in, due to him having a new baby, haha.

Me and The Huz went down there with him and had simultaneous foot massages. Those massage-therapists are amazing! They really beat the crap out of your feet, and they do all the victims patients in unison, like Kodo Drummers!

The Bro snored through the whole thing, prolly also due to him having a new baby.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY dude!

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Best Christmas present EVAR.

Guess what I got for Christmas!

I can't wait to see what you guys come up with.

What was your fave present?

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9 Ways To Say NO.

Are you tired of being asked expected to work for free? Here are nine ways to say NO.

1. The Demure Negatory. If you throw in a little something shiny, they won't even know what hit them.

2. Shock and Disbelief. Trust me, you won't even need to fake it.

3. Rage. No one will mistake this for a "yes".

4. The Element of Surprise. Catch them off guard with a Cirque move!

5. Run Away Screaming. I tried this last week and it works amazingly well.

6. Over My Dead Body. This one's a little old school, but it's perfect for repeat offenders. Plus you can always throw in the threat of haunting to spice things up.

7. The Jedi Wave. Some folks simply don't get that they should pay for commercial services; they really feel entitled to free drawings and stuff, no matter how you explain it. And they even get kinda mad when you just say no. It's far better to hypnotize them. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobe, you're my only hope.

8. Mirth. Burst out laughing. Especially effective if someone offers to pay you with tweets.

9. If all else fails, Spell It Out. If you view these two drawings in the Lightbox skin, you can animate them and say the word "no" at the same time. TRY IT - just click on the drawing.

I may publish a collection of some of the more absurd emails asking me for free drawings. I'll even pay myself to illustrate it - oh, the irony!

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