...when the unthinkable happened.
A stowaway revealed itself.
And it was flesh toned.
A lesser woman might cringe in horror...
...but if you are me, you do this:
Tell me about
Please stumble!
February 8, 2012
The Stowaway.
True story. I was walking down the street....
...minding my own business...
...when the unthinkable happened.
A stowaway revealed itself.
And it was flesh toned.
A lesser woman might cringe in horror...
...but if you are me, you do this:
Tell me aboutyour I mean a friend of a friend's most embarrassing moment.
Please stumble!
Tweet
...when the unthinkable happened.
A stowaway revealed itself.
And it was flesh toned.
A lesser woman might cringe in horror...
...but if you are me, you do this:
Tell me about
Please stumble!
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Most embarrassing moment? I have none. Nope. Not a single one. Nothing comes to mind. And it isn't because I was so embarrassed that I wiped all memory of it from my brain. No siree...
ReplyDeleteOh c'mon TechyDad. Embarrassment is like rich compost to comedy!
DeleteAlrighty I just changed the request to "tell me a friend of a friend's most embarrassing moment". You're covered.
DeleteOk, this didn't seem too embarrassing at the time because I was in "crisis mode", but thinking back on it it is. We were grocery shopping with our now-8-year-old son. (He was about 2 at the time.) He was fussy throughout the trip but we needed groceries. So we get to the dairy aisle and he proceeds to puke.
DeleteI, being a fast thinker, get the impulse to contain the puke. How do I contain it? With my hands. Yes, I tried to catch the puke in my hands in the dairy aisle. Needless to say, that didn't work and so I ended up standing there with a handful of puke unable to do anything else as my wife went to get a manager.
Just to add insult to injury, the store's bathroom had no paper towels. Just toilet paper. You ever try cleaning puked-on kid clothes using wet toilet paper? It's not easy!
And, no, that wasn't the last time that my must-catch-the-puke-to-contain-the-mess reflex kicked in. Curse you, involuntary reflexes!
I read this out to the huz when we were driving along in the car and you had us both cracking up. Those darned involuntary reflexes will save your life!
Delete"crisis mode" < hahaha
DeleteI went to the University of Texas at Austin (USA! USA! USA...oh, nevermind...) BIG CAMPUS. They made a fence out of a chain to deter kids from walking on the grass, and encouraging the sidewalk. During a class change, I didn't want to walk the entire length of the sidewalk and was gonna hop the chain fence. Clear one leg, but caught one of my feet. SPLAT!!! Right in front of 500+ people, books flying all over. I wasn't hurt, but quickly got up, gather my books, and continued among a throng of laughter.
ReplyDeleteOh my. That's classic! That happened to me in a bank once...
DeleteWhile working for the mouse in Florida I was doing audience control during a parade once when a small child ducked under a rope and was sprinting towards the nearest float. I sprang into action, hurtling the same rope to go save the child when I heard a loud ripping sound. Yep, the pants of my lovely work costume tore, not just a little but a good 8 inches through the crotch. I am sure is documented on some vacationers video camera and keep fearing it will show up on one of those funny video shows. Child was saved, but vacationers watching the parade for more than they asked for. Nice and humiliating.
ReplyDeleteWOW! So the mouse doesn't supply stretch fabric trousers suitable for child rescuing?
DeleteI think Disney must own stock in a polyester company...ugh.
DeleteHigh School, sec.1(private school with uniform/pleaded skirt)
ReplyDeleteTo get to school I needed to take 2 buses, the 211, then the 195. When hopping off the 211, I noticed the 195 waiting, so my brother & I ran to catch the bus. At that moment, I tripped and fell on my knees & hands...I layed there, with my huge backpack perched on my head, and my skirt totally flipped on my back, revealing my teenie bopper undies to the 2 buses full of people going to work/school. It was terrible. Only because I was a wee teenager dramatically insecure, and getting used to taking the public transport. From then on I wore boxers.
Amazing! Your backpack wound up on your head - I can picture that! And I think I may start wearing boxers now.
DeleteTrue story that happened to one of my brother in laws. . .
ReplyDeleteduring church services he had not noticed that there were some flowers up on the stage area that weren't normally there. He had been focusing on the bubbling up in his stomach and trying to figure out how to make an escape without an escape happening if you know what I mean. Well, long story short, the embarrassing escape happened. Thankfully it was silent as he tells the story anyway. Meanwhile, the woman ahead of him is wondering why the flowers are there, did someone die and there was a funeral that she had missed? (wait for it people, wait for it) So, she turns and looks back at my brother in law and (he swears it happened just like this) she whispers. . . . . . ."Who died?"
As he was about to fess up and apologize she pointed up to the flowers in the front and asked, who were the flowers for? Who died?
In my embarrassing moments I think of him and say to myself, self, this isn't as bad as that was!
Oh hahahahaaa! I'm sorry for laughing but that is just priceless!!!
DeleteI once made an amazing kale/potato soup called "Caldo Verde". It's a traditional soup from Portugal where I grew up and I was so proud of using farm-fresh ingredients I posted on Facebook, the Twitters, and bragged all over the place. It smelled so good and about 3 bites into it several family members started wondering if the flakes were pepper? Nope, they were tiny mites from the "farm-fresh" kale. I've since redeemed myself but it is now called "Bug Soup". :9
ReplyDeleteI think your kale was a little protein enriched heheh. Fantastic story, thanks. Please leave a link to the recipe for Bug Soup here!
DeleteI had something like that happen to me. I was a kid and had made a nice cup of hot chocolate using one powdered mixes. It was really good and, of course, had a lot of chocolate at the bottom when I was done. You know how it is. Powder settles and you get that wonderful chocolate stuff at the bottom. Only, as I ate more, I realized that some of the "stuff" was wiggling. I asked my mother if chocolate was supposed to wiggle. Turns out it was meal worms which had infested the powdered hot chocolate. YUM!
DeleteOh dear. I think I just had one of those aforementioned "involuntary reflexes"!
DeleteI'll post it on my blog soon: http://www.dadscancooktoo.com.
DeleteHere's one to get you by until I do: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Caldo-Verde-Portuguese-Green-Soup/
Excellent - I'll wait for the dadscancooktoo.com protein enriched version!
DeleteI am feeling a little sick now...
DeleteHA ! EXACT thing happend to me EXCEPT I was at work in the filled courtroom, when BAM, little boys power rangers underoos came out. Yeah you can pretty much bet I NEVER lived it down LOL. Thanks for reminding me.
ReplyDeleteThat's actually cute!
DeleteMost embarrassing moment: Panties fell from the pant leg of my jeans when I was walking to the hospital for an x-ray on my back.
ReplyDeleteYup. I blame the demise of the old fashioned washing line.
DeleteIt was a poverty protest, outside, a march took place and everyone had Stone Soup when it was all said and done. I was the MC.
ReplyDeleteRah Rah Rah....holler holler holler...flags waving, plackards waving...activists and trade unionists, all out to make noise on The International Day for the Eradication of Poverty Day
media media media!
My staff had my camera and took tons of pictures (I run a United Way).
Arrive back at the office and download the pictures, high on the excitment of the day, thrilled to have had a community conversation on poverty.....
And in every picture....my fly is down and open!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
DeleteBest one do far!!!!!
DeleteOk, I've got another one and this one I actually *was* embarrassed during it. I and my boss had to go to this training session one week. One day during the week, as I walked into the training center, I looked down. I had on brown shoes. Two DIFFERENT brown shoes! I spent the entire day finding new ways of hiding my feet. Sit with my legs under my chair. Walk a step behind my boss. That kind of thing.
ReplyDeleteNow you'd think that, once this happens, you'd be extremely careful for it to never happen again. Right? Well, one morning I was getting ready for work. I was tired and the boys were fighting. All this meant that I didn't realize until I was at work that I had two different black shoes on.
Usually, this would be no problem. My office is isolated in the back of the server room. I can easily go an entire day without talking to anyone face-to-face. But this day was the day I was supposed to give blood. What do you do when you give blood? You lie down with your feet right up there for everyone to see.
As the nurse checked me over, I saw her taking long looks at my feet. I figured she had noticed my mismatched shoes and so joked about how my kids distracted me this morning. She remarked that she actually hadn't noticed and was looking out a window just past my feet. If I hadn't said anything, she told me, she would have never realized they were mismatched.
Nothing like ratting yourself out thus amplifying your embarrassment!
HAHAHA!!!
DeleteDude, seriously. You need to have ONE pair of shoes in each colour, okay? Anyway it's decided. You need a dedicated website for your stories.
(This is actually friend's friends moment...although I had a behind-the-scene role.) My "friend" aka mother who is 80ish, wanted to record an interview about Gracia Burnham. This woman is a Kansas missionary who survived capture, near starvation, final release from overseas terrorists - returning home as a widow after the captors killed her husband. Okay, that's the serious and dramatically true background of the "moment".
ReplyDeleteMom grabbed a VHS tape from the cabinet, quickly loaded it in, and presto! The interview was recorded...and delivered the next day to the minister's wife who had known the group of missionary wives through church functions. It was a good and thoughtful gesture, honest and pure....
Except the VHS tape did not record the interview. The channel setting instead gave the church ladies a taste of the movie "Eyes Wide Shut"...and that pretty much describes the faces around the room at showtime...in the sanctuary...on Sunday afternoon. Luckily someone knew where the "stop" button was.
Oh noes!!! That is THE most cringe-worthy story so far. I've seen that film and met the director. I wonder what the church ladies thought of the bit they saw...
DeleteTrue story. Jr. High... and high school... just the whole entire thing of both. The horror... the HORROR of it all.
ReplyDeleteFirst house, hosting 4th of July, half finished patio, house full of horrors of renovating..
ReplyDeleteThe slider leading out to the gravel half of the patio(half had pavers set..timing is everything) was always a pain to open. Ever few weeks my fiance has to take it off the track and clean the wheels and put it back on..
Otherwise you have to put all your weight in to it to open. My fiance chose to do this while I was prepping(drinking wine) some food out of sight.
So I come in, set up some snacks for our guests, and wine in hand, go to see how the BBQ is going outside...
I should have put on a cape!
Because I put all my weight into flinging open the slider, which catapulted me OUTSIDE in to the gravel onto (and one arm through the legs) some canvas chairs... Landing on my face... in front of 10 friends.
The plus: I didn't break the glass and it still had wine in it
The minus: Before anyone helped disentangle me from the chairs/glass/gravel they took photos.
I went with my then-boyfriend to a bagel shop and sat at the counter to drink a hot cocoa. I checked the heat against my lips before drinking. But the foam must have been strangely cooler than the cocoa, because I then chugged a huge mouthful so boiling-hot that my survival response was to - not spit, not spew, not cough, but simply drop my jaw and let a gush of brown liquid spill from my mouth onto the counter. My boyfriend stared at me in disbelief and said, "That's the grossest thing I've ever seen."
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Oh thank gawd I wasn't drinking anything when I read that comment. Hahahaaaaaa!
Delete