This didn't actually happen. Well, okay, it did happen but not exactly.
Me and my friend Robin (known as #TheRobin on Twitter cuz she has yet to exist there) went to BlissDom Canada this weekend. We trained it from Montreal, and headed straight to the Sheraton Centre, located "in the vibrant core of downtown Toronto". Needless to say the long train ride had resulted in an urgent need to use the toilet for Number 1. Which we did as soon as we got checked into our hotel room.
But instead of flushing, the toilet did that horrifying thing with the water rising up threateningly to the brim of the toilet bowl...and then just staying there. Uh-oh!
The Robin called the front desk, and some poor unsuspecting maintenance man came up from house-keeping. He just stood there and stared at the toilet bowl. I was standing next to him thinking, wow, this is really embarrassing! But I love embarrassment, it's like, one of my favorite emotions.
Some of my best stories come from my ability to embrace embarrassment.
So the maintenance dude and I are staring silently at the toilet, full to the brim with pale yellow water. And a token bit of toilet paper floating sexily on top. Naturally it also smelled faintly of female pee.
Eventually he looks at me and says, "If I flush it, will it overflow?"
Seriously? How should I know? I shrugged and smiled. Anything could happen and I was hopeful.
He wisely decided not to try flushing it. Off he goes to get a plunger, tarum, tarum, tarum. And he unplugs the toilet. And later that same day it blocked up again. So he came back and unblocked it again.
Lucky for him, it was only ever Number 1. But that didn't stop me and The Robin imagining what it would be like if it was Number 2.
The Robin came up with the title for this blog post. You guys can thank her for that. And the Sheraton gets top marks for prompt toilet unblocking services.
Embarrassment might be one of my Super Powers.
That's actually a great superpower. If you're unable to be embarrassed, or better, thrive on it, you are a superhero. But seriously, what kind of maintenance dude asks if it's okay to flush with a floater in the bowl?
ReplyDeleteFinally, I greatly admire you for illustrating the peek-a-boo turd.
Oh I do get embarrassed. But I face it head on, I even lean into it, like I lean into the wind...can you picture that?
DeleteFor the record, there was NO floater in the bowl. That's why I drew one instead.
YAY for talking turds!
This is sort of a nightmare for me. I am terribly shy about my bathroom habits. Which is funny because I'm not really shy about much else. It was almost more than I could take at Callaway Gardens rooming with three other ladies because there was rarely a moment to go the bathroom without fear of anyone hearing me. I swore to myself then that I would never again room with more than one person.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm not sure about the toilet, but I know for sure that I'd be stopped up the entire time of that conference for fear of stopping up the toilet.
You're not alone. We need a radio or something, playing Musique's Push Push in the Bush super loud so we can ....er, make an offering to the Porcelain God, with the illusion of privacy.
DeleteAnd by the way, I have a Wacom, but your drawings are infinitely better than mine.
ReplyDeleteCool! Which one do you have? The stylus for iPad or the pen-tablet for PC?
DeleteI am so glad turds don't talk.
ReplyDeleteOh but they do talk Manina....they whisper.
DeleteNow you mention it, yes! I have heard them chatting, but never after they emerge...
DeleteI used to be a second-shift front desk clerk at a Hampton Inn. Guess who got to plunge the toilets when the housekeeping staff, the maintenance guy and everyone else employed by the hotel went home? I had to unclog many a toilet. I would've been too embarrassed to stick around when the 19-year-old with the plunger arrived, but most people stood in the bathroom and watched.
ReplyDeleteNo way!! Nichole, you are my new hero.
DeleteMy wife has a phrase for this: BUTB - Blew Up The Bowl. And, yes, we've needed to call hotel maintenance for BUTB issues in the past.
ReplyDeleteBUTB haha! That's great. Did your maintenance man bring a plunger in a plastic bag?
DeleteFlushturd... That is pure brilliance, JC, but frankly, I'm surprised my younger child didn't think of it first. He's all about the poop jokes (which means I have to show him your talking turd pic!)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your shit didn't have to take the elevator. Although, that's an animation I'd love to see.
ReplyDeleteYou funny.