The Doug and Rob Ford Caption Contest.

WARNING: political tooning.

Resistance was futile; I finally caved and drew Rob Ford, embattled Mayor of Toronto. Of course you can't really draw Rob without his older brother City Councillor Doug Ford.

I do not like the feeling I get when I listen to what this man says about ....well, anything really. The way Doug Ford talks makes me feel intensely uncomfortable; I don't trust him. One gets the idea that he's the one pushing his blurt-happy little brother along and pulling the strings behind the "Ford Nation" ideology. And watch out Canada, Doug Ford has his sights set on the Ontario Premiereship. If what Prime Minister Harper says about the municipal/provincial/national hat trick in this video is anything to go by, I may start to secretly hope Quebec separates because it'll actually be more Canadian here than anywhere.

Anyways, the Rob Ford story has morphed from a crack to a crevasse to a yawning canyon. With stalagmites and pointy shit. And being a Canadian, I can't escape it. Allegations aside, what interests me mainly is the behaviour of these two men, and the people reacting to them, for and against. I find it all at once compelling, hilarious and terrifying.

But never mind all that! Here's a caption contest for you!

Simply leave your entry in the comments below - it can be a single caption, or a couple of speech bubbles between Dougie and Robbie. Have fun. You can enter as many times as you like: just be sure to leave your Twitter handle or email so I can contact you if you win.

How you win - I'll choose the funniest one, that's all there is to it. My decision will be final.
What you win - your choice of either mug or t-shirt with the above design on it.
When you win - contest closes Wednesday, May 29th 2013 at midnight. I'll announce the winner on Thursday between 9 and 10 PM.

Remember the Ultimate Goal here is to have a laugh (yes, at the expense of the Brothers Ford, but that's what you get when you're an insane public official) so please hit the share button.

UPDATE: May 30, 2013 Contest Winner Announced!

We have a winner! Congratulations @IamSauerkraut from Twitter!

Sauerkraut, please let me know if you want t mug or a t-shirt with this fabulous one-of-a-kind artwork and hilarious caption. Thanks to everyone for entering; you are lovely.

And remember folks: if you're lucky enough to live in a democratic society, don't piss it away by not bothering to vote in your next election. Because ROB FORD.

'Nuff said.

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Summer SLEEVES.

My friend Tanya (jewelry designer extraordinaire at Gracie Mack) was recently lamenting on Facebook, about the lack of sleeves on cute summer dresses. Her idea was to open a shop called "We Have Sleeves".

I generally do okay with my body image (mostly by not looking in the mirror). But honestly, I do have things that bug me from time to time and glunky underarms around the bra line is one of them. Here's my peri-menopausal cartoon body (without the Jessica Rabbit treatment):

Glunkity-glunk!

A few other women jumped into Tanya's Facebook convo, and when photographer Sarah Thomas suggested "fake sleeves" a picture formed itself in my head.

Think about it: with SLEEVES we won't have to put on a sweater or jacket or shawl, so you don't have to worry about getting too hot. Also, your silky shoulders will be exposed for "come hither" posing over a strawberry daiquiri... or ALLCAPS cocktail.

We could have these in solid colours, light sheer fabric for summer and a little heavier for spring or fall. SLEEVES could be simple to integrate with any dress (Tanya suggests putty, charcoal gray, white and black). Or SLEEVES could be more decorative; beaded or with silk-flowers for example, to make a fashion statement.

Now we need someone to make these for us. Who else wants them?

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Uh-Oh Canada...

Prime Minister Stephen Harper isn't listening.

He doesn't speak "Canadian".

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ZOMBIE Mom.

Patty Sullivan on Twitter asked me if I'd do a drawing of a Zombie Mom for a project she was working on. I'd already done a series on Zombie Appliances and I thought a parody of The Evolution of Man would be hilarious as The Evolution of Zombie Mom.

Just before Mother's Day I started thinking it would be really fun to animate the Zombie Mom evolving. The phased degeneration of the walk-cycle appealed to me as an animator. Then the 13 year old boy came down with a pretty horrifying case of stomach flu and kept me up all night all week with the barfs. This literally brought me back to my early daze as a mother and I found myself moaning, lurching and craving brains.

Needless to say I was too "undead" to get the animation together for Mother's Day. BUT I think this will work in my favor because while Mother's Day only comes once a year, ZOMBIE Mom's Day is, let's face it, every single one of those other 364 days.

So tadaaa, here's my video:



Zombies are fun to draw. Up til now I've only been an animator. Now....I'm a re-animator. Ha.

If you feel like the walking dead because of a child in your life, Zombie-moms.com is for you. Patty Sullivan and some friends put together this site where sleep-deprived parents can go for advice, support and stories. Jump into their tweetstream on the #ZombieMoms hashtag.

Irony: I was so out of it I didn't notice that the Patty I've been emailing about zombies is THE Patty from Kids' CBC. Yeah, she's an award winning tv broadcaster and bonafide celeb and my kids adored her. How did I not realize it was her?? I blame the zombie virus.

Happy ZOMBIE Mom's Day!! What's the most undead thing you've done as a parent?

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Mom Super-Powers.

The ten-year-old boy is now thirteen. That means we now have three (3) teenagers in the house.

CRIKEY. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN.

A rhetorical question.  Actually it wasn't even a question (I didn't put a question mark, did I?) ...more of a "wondering aloud". Seems like only yesterday, I myself was but thirteen, and not entertaining any deep thoughts beyond pondering how to dance without making people laugh and point.

Nonetheless, here am I, on yet another Mother's Day, reflecting on my three children. The  thirteen year old boy loves comics (especially Spiderman); superheros with superpowers are a big topic of conversation around here.

This is one example:

He's always so eager at this point in the conversation. It's really cute.

Actual. Tears.

What Spidey said, dude.

When given a choice of what my super-power would be, I always answer, "The power to heal, my son" cuz check it out yo. That would be epic...you ain't got no problems if you got your health. Give folks their health, make the world better. And so on.

Well anyways, Happy Mother's Day. What would your super-power be?

PS. I've decided to be a little more personal with my blog. 

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You Shall NOT Pass.

This was me last week.

I was on my way to deliver a keynote in the USA; to make a few hundred really nice people laugh, smile and hopefully leave them inspired by my drawings and my message.

But I never made it...

Have  you ever wanted something very, very much, and just when it's within your grasp it slips away?

You're allowed to grieve for a bit. And then you move on.

The silver lining: The thing I thought I wanted wasn't the thing I actually wanted. I already have that thing and it's right here inside me.

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